Is It Unreasonable to Expect a Clean House at Your Parents’ Place?
Visiting your childhood home can be tricky—especially if it’s not clean. Do you have to play housekeeper? Explore this dilemma with us.

Imagine you’re planning a trip to visit your parents, who live a few hours away, only to find yourself baffling over the state of their house each time you arrive. Should it be clean, or at least presentable, when you get there? Well, you're not alone if you've been bogged down by this dilemma.
The Curious Case of Cleanliness Expectations
Some people feel it's a touch unfair to visit your childhood home and suddenly feel like you need to clean up, especially when visiting your parents should be relaxing. They say it all boils down to boundaries. Sure, everyone loves a clean place, but do you really have to be the one wiping down surfaces and vacuuming floors?
Your parents' house is their domain, and when you visit, you’re technically a guest. Establishing boundaries can make for a smoother and more pleasant visit. Instead of cleaning up for your sibling or because it’s the 'expected' thing to do, maybe let them know you’d rather not be their housekeeper. You’ve got your own place to manage!
Why It Might Seem Unbalanced
If you’ve ever felt like the cleanliness expectations are unevenly spread amongst siblings, especially favoring those who might still live closer or with them, you're not alone. This could often be linked to traditional family dynamics or just plain favoritism.
What to Do About It?
If coming home feels like stepping into a cluttered zone, and you need a break, remember—you can change how you respond to it. Simply focusing on your actions, like opting out of unnecessary cleaning duties, can lift a weight off your shoulders. You can’t change your parents overnight, but you can say no to tasks that aren’t your responsibility.
"Don’t help clean. It ain’t your house or your responsibility."— Wise words from those who know.
Are Parents Really the Ones to Blame?
As parents age, their cleaning habits might change. They might no longer feel the need to spruce up for a visitor as they once did when everyone lived under the same roof. It might not even occur to them to clean just for your visits, and that's okay. Sometimes, a gentle conversation can go a long way in easing expectations.
The key takeaway here: While you can’t force a cleanup regime in your parents' home, you can, however, draw the line on what’s expected of you. A little open dialogue and respect for each other's spaces can turn a potentially sticky situation into a harmonious visit.