Relationships

I snapped and told my parents I hoped the new baby wouldn’t make it — was I wrong?

Years of unpaid caregiving and emotional exhaustion led to one devastating sentence — now she’s asking if she was wrong. Read compassionate analysis, safety steps to leave parentified life, and practical next moves to reclaim your future.

Packing up to leave a life of parentification.

I Snapped and Told My Parents

0:00

The real question

You're living under parents who repeatedly make destructive choices. They’ve parentified you, you dropped out of school to keep things afloat, and now your mom (and a 32-year-old brother?) are having another baby. You lost it and said you hoped the baby wouldn’t survive. Were you the asshole?

Short answer: you’re not automatically the villain here. What you said is brutal, but it came from a place of long-term hurt, exhaustion, and feeling trapped. People who've been pushed into adult roles too early don’t have endless patience. Saying something horrible when you finally snap doesn’t erase years of being used emotionally and financially.

How others think about it

Many say you snapped after being parentified and emotionally drained. Long-term neglect and economic abuse wear down any reasonable person.
Others urge: get out as soon as you can. Finish your GED, enroll in trade school or community college, and start supporting yourself — even part-time work helps build independence.
Practical caution: be careful about jumping into a new living situation. If your boyfriend can’t afford an apartment alone, or if you’ll be expected to act as caregiver, you could just swap one role for another. Look for safe, stable options.

Actionable steps you can take now

Make a leaving plan. Save what you can, apply for jobs, and research local shelters or young-adult housing programs if needed.
Finish your GED or look into community college programs — many areas have affordable or free options for adults returning to school.
Document any financial or emotional abuse. It helps if you later need services or legal protection.
Talk to a counselor or a trusted friend. You don’t need to carry this guilt alone.

A note on contraception talk

Some people point out that vasectomy is an effective, low-complication option for permanent male sterilization. If your family keeps having kids they can’t support, contraception is a practical discussion — though it’s ultimately their choice. For basic reading, see the vasectomy article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasectomy.

Final thoughts

You weren’t kind in that moment. But you’re not the first person driven to a harsh words by years of being taken for granted. Prioritize leaving the situation safely, finishing your education, and building boundaries. You don’t owe your parents another forfeited life. Be gentle with yourself — then take the steps to make a different future possible.