Relationships

He Wants Me to Keep Paying Rent After We’re Married — Should I?

Engaged and being asked to pay 'rent' to your future spouse who remains sole owner? That arrangement can cost you money and legal protection. Read quick steps to negotiate ownership, get legal safeguards, or rethink the relationship.

When rent and marriage collide.

Keep Paying Rent After Marriage

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The question, in plain terms

You’re engaged, you offered to match what your fiancé has already put into the mortgage, and he wants you to keep paying “rent” even after you’re married — while remaining the sole owner of the house. Is that normal? Is it fair? And what should you do?

Quick take

Short answer: this is a red flag. Marriage is usually a partnership, and asking a future spouse to pay rent into a home they won’t own — especially while refusing to add them to the deed or negotiate equal footing — raises serious trust and power-balance issues.

What people say (and why it matters)

Some people say this feels more like a business deal than a marriage — one person builds equity, the other pays ongoing rent. That’s often not a healthy foundation for a committed relationship.
Others point out the practical risk: if you put thousands toward a place you don’t legally own, you have no guaranteed stake and limited legal protection if things go sideways.
Many suggest walking away or insisting on clear legal protections before contributing: equal ownership, a written agreement, or buying something new together where both names are on the mortgage and deed.

Concrete steps you can take

Have a direct money conversation. Say what you want: equal ownership, joint mortgage, or a fair repayment plan that converts your contributions to equity.
Don’t just rely on promises. If you decide to contribute, get it in writing — either as a co-ownership agreement, an addendum to the mortgage, or a prenuptial agreement that spells out financial rights.
Talk to a lawyer. Property and marital rights vary by place. A short consult can tell you whether contributing without being on the deed is risky.
Consider alternatives: buy your own place, delay moving in, or propose buying a new home together where you both share ownership from the start.

Bottom line

If your partner won’t even consider fair ownership or basic protections, that’s a relationship decision, not just a financial one. You deserve a partner who treats your money and future as a true partnership — not a landlord-tenant arrangement disguised as marriage.